<Review by: Sailesh Ghelani>

Directed by John Krasinski. Starring Emily Blunt, John Krasinski, Millicent Simmonds, Noah Jupe, Cade Woodward

Running time: 1 hour 30 minutes

In what is a total dote-fest of critics gushing shamelessly over a film with a slightly different plot hook, you have to see that A Quiet Place is nothing more than your formula alien-horror film.

Beware not to fart or go hungry for this film. Your stomach’s rumblings will be heard through the theatre. There is little dialogue in this movie. That’s because the aliens that have taken over the planet are blind but they have super hearing. They kill anything that catches their ear. Wonder why no one thought of hiding in soundproof studios then?

The Abbott family have learnt how to survive with sign language – their daughter is deaf, so maybe that’s why they have the advantage – but they still don’t fare very well. You’ll snooze a bit initially with the lack of dialogue and just having to read the subtitles. Then you’ll wonder if they manage to keep this up, that would be an achievement. Predictably, they don’t, and they start talking, which sort of takes away the novelty of the film right there.

Emily Blunt’s character is pregnant and they must protect her and the baby. Wouldn’t that be a tall order since babies do cry a lot? And how irresponsible for two parents to have a child in a world with crazy-ass monsters. Both risky and selfish in my opinion. Then they proceed to make a basement into a makeshift nursery. The entry is covered with a mattress! Really, that’s all they can think of to protect themselves. A mattress!! They then proceed to put the baby into a box and cover it, giving it oxygen with a gas mask. Boy, they win parents of the year!

All the critics like about this film is the fact that it is silent and takes them back to the era they were young in. It’s a gimmick just like that film with the blind guy who tackles his home invaders. A Quiet Place is a boring place, a stupid place where the characters are so dumb they can’t even set up a house that is sound proof. They don’t believe in birth control in a world where any sound can endanger them and their other kids. They didn’t get my sympathy. They all deserved to die horrible deaths for their total lack of intelligence!